Jan 26th, 2009
When we lose …
This post has nothing to do with education but everything to do with the people in our lives. So just bear with me. Earlier this year my dad’s physical and mental health began to decline rapidly. It has been very difficult to accept the way he has changed because of a debilitating disease. I have vacillated between being angry, worried, scared, and regretful about times in my life when I should have appreciated my relationship with him far more. Because of Alzheimer’s and a body that doesn’t want to cooperate, he is not the man he once was, but since the day he married my mom when I was 11, he has been my hero, and he still is.
This past Friday two members of our school family experienced deep losses. On that day, and since then, I hope that they have felt us wrap our arms around them to comfort and care for them while they grieve. That’s what friends and “extended families” do for each other when times get tough. That is the way I have felt at times through the last many months with my dad. There are teachers and staff at school who remember what I’m going through with my dad and they quietly ask about him. They don’t make a production out of their concern; they just find me in a still moment and check in. These little things let me know that my troubles are important to them and that our relationship is more than just work. No need for me to call you by name – you know who you are – and I am grateful.
As my husband will tell you, I am not the most vulnerable person in the world. It takes a lot for me to open up to others, but I’m working on this. I am continuing to understand that needing and relying on people is not a weakness. We all experience loss in one form or fashion, and when we lose, it’s comforting to know that there are people in our lives who will stand up with us in our hurt, or our pain, or our shame.
